I drink to make other people interesting.

George Jean Nathan

When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.

Ambrose Bierce

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.

Oscar Wilde

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.

Ambrose Bierce

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

Alphonse Karr

A sweetheart is a bottle of wine; a wife is a wine bottle.

P.C. Baudeareil

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

Zsa Zsa Gabor

My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading.

Steve Jobs

Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of bastards.

Harold Coffin

A true friend stabs you in the front.

Oscar Wilde

One can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.

Oscar Wilde

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

Oscar Wilde

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Jimmy Durante

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

In love, the best way to erase one's face from the tablet of memory is to draw another across it.

Helen Rowland

We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we bore.

La Rochefoucauld

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion.

Josh Billings

For a man to pretend to understand women is bad manners; for him to really understand them is bad morals. Henry James
Familiarity breeds contempt and children. Mark Twain
I'm glad I'm a woman because I don't have to worry about getting men pregnant. Nell Dunn
I hate women because they always know where things are. James Thurber

 

 

 

 
 

 

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